“Let’s go with the flow”, he says. She’s not sure about it but she’s a modern progressive woman, so why not? 😎
They flow aka talk, have relations of all kinds, text back and forth throwing in some long video calls even when either of them was abroad. Let’s not talk about the tags on the funny videos on YouTube, twitter and Instagram. 🙂
One day she tries to call him, it goes busy after ringing about twice or so. And the he send her a text:
Him: Can’t talk, what’s up?
Her:. I just wanted to hear your voice 🙂
Him: Sorry. I’m not looking for a relationship right now. 😦
It’s so confusing! If you’re into them, them you are too smothering.
If you take your time or try to give them space…’Oh, I didn’t think you were into me’.
Sex right away? Lose interest.
Wait to have sex. Lose interest.
What the hell is a girl to do?!
The guy next to me kept giving me looks, he was kinda cute so I didn’t mind but it looked like was on a date, so, all the better he won’t disturb my walk back home from the theatre.
The movie ended, credits and people walked out either hissing or as amused as I was. Just before I got down the stairs leading outside, someone tapped me and said, “Hi. You seem to have enjoyed that movie more that the rest of us.” He asked for my number and I gave it to him. Of course I did, I usually just block you when you are not a pleasant person to talk to.
I’m all about making new friends.
He became one of the best friends i ever had, there when I needed him.
I like you became I love you.
Fast forward into a relationship filled with all kinds of up and downs faced together (I’d like to think) we broke up.
He had an epiphany. He didn’t want to lie anymore.
I was just tired. I didn’t want this anymore.
Remember when love was enough?
I love you was it, when you heard it you know it was real, true. It just meant that you were no longer ‘I’ you are now ‘we’ grown ups, no longer kids. That you found the one, you were done.
That was before ex boyfriends.
Before it mattered that she was a Kataf girl and he was Native American.
Before the little bad habit you thought you could tolerate turned into one of the most annoying thing ever! 😠
Before pretending to like something you didn’t just please him.
Before doing something you weren’t even interested in just to fit in with his idea of a perfect woman.
It was enough before he cheated and said it was because he was a horrible person and he would never do it again. She believed him.
Before your own thoughts strayed to someone else.
It was before long distance revealed our weaknesses.
This was before he gave up on himself and his dreams, just kept existing and not living.
Before you realised you were never going to convert to another religion for them. (Even when they said you didn’t have to.)
This was before he was ready for marriage and kids. Oh the kids.
You weren’t ready either.
I love you was enough before other “I love you’s”.
It was enough before we were hurt so deeply and before we hurt others so selfishly… It was enough before you found out it wasn’t.
P.S: What makes it enough, what makes it the one true love is choice.
Constantly choosing to love.
So, what will you choose?
I am just going to say it the way I feel it, it’s been a long time. Forgive my long absence, I’ve been in a creative rot. I wanted to write but everytime I picked up any keyboard to type,i felt like the words just kept flying away. Even when I wrote something down I’m never satisfied with it.
I have never been the person that will want to write and evoke pity from the beginning to the end but somehow, that’s the only emotion I felt like I was appealing to.
With no vlog or blog posts, I’ve been trying to keep my growing audience a little entertained and informed with my documentary photography work mostly on Instagram but thank heavens for the blue highlight on Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter. It helps me share my work to all four without necessarily going there to do that.
I know I need to tailor each post for the different kinds of social media platforms and I’m getting around to that.
I watch a lot of content creators in YouTube and I see how they talk about the audience they want to appeal to. I was watch Yusuf on “DoseOfYousef” and he made a valid point in one of his vlogs;
“I know I started out all serious about my content, about making my audience laugh and coming back for more but I got carried away with creating a new internet persona around myself just because I have this vlog channel, I’m not really like this, I have to make my voice a little louder, animated just to make you think I’m excited”
I love these creators and how they’ve made a something for themselves just living their lives but when it starts to get fake then you know that shit HAS hit the fan.
I started to rethink my strategy, do I want people in my personal space online? Is there a way I can get people to really for a cause I’m passionate about without involving “Nebianet” as a person? (I’m still working on it, please drop your suggestions in the comments section below, thanks 😇)
Every time I’m scared to do what I want to do, but I do it anyway, in any matter however small, I’m making a tiny course correction. Added up over time, they’ll make a huge difference in my life and take me somewhere awesome. (I’d like to believe)
Life rewards courage. Enough of the “what will people think?” and “I don’t want to be misunderstood” attitude!
I’m stuck and I dunno what to do, making the right decision seems to elude to me; it’s like I get a grip but it just slips out like trying to build slippery fish… I know what I need to do takes courage and not many people will support it but I’m ready.
So help me God. 🙏
1. Intention: Waking up at 5 am. I’ve become such an early bird (in every sense of the phrase, and by that I mean I’m dozing off by 9pm…NO MATTER where I am! In the car, on the couch, in the office (Yes, I’m in the office till 9pm sometimes, Judge me 😋) (more…)
She’d looked forward to this wedding for weeks as the lady getting married was the sweetest yet crazier-than-most person she’d ever met… 😍 (more…)
Long time no post! 😔😋😊
I apologise for that but something triggered a thought process that I’ve had for years now. Spoiler alert! It’s relationship related. (more…)
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions…am I right? What kind of path do we pave for the younger ones? (more…)
Statistically and historically speaking, men have been the biggest, most adulterous hoes since the dawn of time and yet will call women hoes for ;
I used to think living alone would be the worst thing that could happen to me, the best part of being in a house it having someone to share it with I thought.
It will be creepy to be not having someone next door.
Will I be able to eat the food I cook on my own? (more…)